while I love it...
there are only so many movies & seasons of Will & Grace you can watch.
there are only so many times you can revamp your wedding registries.
there are only so many Sims families you can play.
there are only so many times you can call your fiance and complain.
there are only so many glasses of Juicy Juice you can drink.
I will be super thankful for this sickness to go away!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
A dilemma
How do you make a decision like this?
It makes logistical sense to move in with LC in the next few months. He's moving down here to take a police cadet job with the MBPD (thanks Dad!) until he turns 21. Then he'll hopefully be hired as a full-time law enforcement officer & we'll get married the September after his 21st birthday - that's when I wanted to move in with him.
I don't believe in living with someone before marriage, and I hold strongly to that. However, I need to get out of this house. I mean, when I say need, I mean NEED. Need is not a strong enough word to convey JUST how much I need to get out of this house. My brother is violent, physically emotionally & mentally abusive, and I often recieve the brunt of his attitude. In the past few days, we've gotten into about five hugely awful arguments/fights, and I just can't take it anymore. I can't afford to get my own place - I have two very part-time jobs and am constantly searching for a full-time job or even another part-time job that pays better. School is completely out of the question right now - our financial situation is basically nonexistant at the moment, and bills just keep piling up. $400/month for a studio apartment by myself is laughable at this point.
So. It makes logistical AND healthful sense to get a small place with LC when he moves down here. We've been looking at different places and have found a few that are affordable and nice, and it seems like it might happen. But my heart is hurting over it. I just don't want to have a home with LC until we're officially an "us." I feel like making a home with someone is sacred & should be saved for husband & wife. I've made mistakes & didn't save myself for marriage - and believe me, if I could take it back, I would - and I feel like waiting to move in with LC is sort of a substitute for it. But then there's the problem with my brother. It's all a kind of never-ending circle: brother's behavior is unacceptable and I don't feel safe, so I need to move out; I can't afford my own place so I'll move in with LC; I don't feel right moving in with LC until marriage; we're not getting married til 2011 so I guess I'll have to wait. BUT - brother's behavior is unacceptable...and it begins again. I just don't know what to do.
meanwhile, in happier news, I start training for my new job tomorrow! I'm so excited! it's a very part-time weekend position, doing check-ins and front desk work for a timeshare in northern Myrtle Beach. I'm always looking for full-time work & will be applying for a substitute teacher as soon as a position is available in the school system. And wedding planning is slow, but constant - we've just about finished our registries, and I'm almost positive that I've found my wedding dress :-) for now, I'm going to get back to mine & Dad's NCIS marathon. the cable is out, so I brought my DVD player into the living room (the actual living room player is making the disks skip) and we're hunkered down enjoying some serious naval criminal solving.
have a fantastic week!
It makes logistical sense to move in with LC in the next few months. He's moving down here to take a police cadet job with the MBPD (thanks Dad!) until he turns 21. Then he'll hopefully be hired as a full-time law enforcement officer & we'll get married the September after his 21st birthday - that's when I wanted to move in with him.
I don't believe in living with someone before marriage, and I hold strongly to that. However, I need to get out of this house. I mean, when I say need, I mean NEED. Need is not a strong enough word to convey JUST how much I need to get out of this house. My brother is violent, physically emotionally & mentally abusive, and I often recieve the brunt of his attitude. In the past few days, we've gotten into about five hugely awful arguments/fights, and I just can't take it anymore. I can't afford to get my own place - I have two very part-time jobs and am constantly searching for a full-time job or even another part-time job that pays better. School is completely out of the question right now - our financial situation is basically nonexistant at the moment, and bills just keep piling up. $400/month for a studio apartment by myself is laughable at this point.
So. It makes logistical AND healthful sense to get a small place with LC when he moves down here. We've been looking at different places and have found a few that are affordable and nice, and it seems like it might happen. But my heart is hurting over it. I just don't want to have a home with LC until we're officially an "us." I feel like making a home with someone is sacred & should be saved for husband & wife. I've made mistakes & didn't save myself for marriage - and believe me, if I could take it back, I would - and I feel like waiting to move in with LC is sort of a substitute for it. But then there's the problem with my brother. It's all a kind of never-ending circle: brother's behavior is unacceptable and I don't feel safe, so I need to move out; I can't afford my own place so I'll move in with LC; I don't feel right moving in with LC until marriage; we're not getting married til 2011 so I guess I'll have to wait. BUT - brother's behavior is unacceptable...and it begins again. I just don't know what to do.
meanwhile, in happier news, I start training for my new job tomorrow! I'm so excited! it's a very part-time weekend position, doing check-ins and front desk work for a timeshare in northern Myrtle Beach. I'm always looking for full-time work & will be applying for a substitute teacher as soon as a position is available in the school system. And wedding planning is slow, but constant - we've just about finished our registries, and I'm almost positive that I've found my wedding dress :-) for now, I'm going to get back to mine & Dad's NCIS marathon. the cable is out, so I brought my DVD player into the living room (the actual living room player is making the disks skip) and we're hunkered down enjoying some serious naval criminal solving.
have a fantastic week!
Friday, February 19, 2010
happy employment news!
hello all!
I really want to become more regular about posting - but I can never think of anything interesting enough to blog about. my life as of now is pretty boring...I'm slowly starting to plan for the wedding. oh! and I got a new job! it's a weekend reservationist position at Sands Ocean Club Timeshare (I think? it has a long name) so I'm VERY happy about that! I'm debating applying to be a substitute teacher for Horry County schools. I think it would be really fun, and a great way to be in the classroom without having to have my degree. it could also be a really good way to get some different homeschool ideas - even though it's a long way off :-)
alright, that's all I can come up with for today. do you have any ideas to help me blog more regularly?
have a great weekend!
I really want to become more regular about posting - but I can never think of anything interesting enough to blog about. my life as of now is pretty boring...I'm slowly starting to plan for the wedding. oh! and I got a new job! it's a weekend reservationist position at Sands Ocean Club Timeshare (I think? it has a long name) so I'm VERY happy about that! I'm debating applying to be a substitute teacher for Horry County schools. I think it would be really fun, and a great way to be in the classroom without having to have my degree. it could also be a really good way to get some different homeschool ideas - even though it's a long way off :-)
alright, that's all I can come up with for today. do you have any ideas to help me blog more regularly?
have a great weekend!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Some developments.
So.
This post is WAY overdue, and I apologize. I haven't had time to sit down and do a really good post - and I promise this will be REALLY GOOD - in a long time. To make up for my absence I did a complete blog overhaul - isn't it purdy? So sit back with a cup of coffee, some almond milk or a vodka cran if you feel like it, and read on.
LC & I celebrated our one-year anniversary on October 26. To treat ourselves, we decided to visit Charleston, SC - where we met - to spend the weekend. We were there October 23 & 24 and stayed in a really nice hotel. On Friday we ate at the restaraunt where we started talking & really getting to know each other (plus where he first held my hand), and all day Saturday we walked around downtown Charleston - such a beautiful place! We spent a lot of time at the market, where LC bought me a beautiful creamy brown pashmina, and at the waterfront park, where the famous pineapple fountain was such a savior for my feet!! From the waterfront park we trekked down to the battery, where we saw quite possibly the most beautiful sunset ever. It was a lovely trip, and we got to spend so much time together laughing & talking.
Something super important happened when we were in Charleston. It was Friday night after dinner, and we were back in our hotel room watching TV. Somehow we got into a huge fight - I don't even remember what it was about, something stupid - and we were yelling at each other & I was crying and kicked him out of bed, and I was in the middle of telling him just HOW much I hated him when he suddenly blurted out "Marry me."
Just like that, two little words changed my life.
We had, of course, talked about our future, and marriage was almost always in the cards, but this was a complete surprise. I was worried that he had spontaneously asked me to get out of being "in the doghouse," so to speak. Later he assured me that he had been planning on asking me that weekend, so it wasn't a kneejerk reaction. (He also didn't have a ring - and I still don't, which I'm fine with. We're saving for many more important things than an engagement ring. I'd rather have a house than a ring. However, so many people have commented that we're "not really engaged" unless there's a ring, so we're thinking of getting an inexpensive (but still nice) ring at Wal-Mart or Target just to shut up the naysayers.)
At first I was completely speechless. I kept asking him "Really?!" and "Are you serious?!" because I thought he might be joking around. It took a little while to sink in that he was seriously asking me to spend the rest of my life with him. Of course I said yes! Throughout the rest of the night and much of the following day I kept telling him to ask me again - I loved hearing those words. I still do.
So. We've been engaged since October 23rd, 2009. However, we've kind of kept it lowkey. Both our families - not surprisingly, Mother disapproves - and our close friends know, but we haven't officially "annouced" it, had a write-up in the paper or changed our relationship stati to "engaged" on Facebook. We've started some preliminary planning, and we have a wedding website, but we're taking it slow. Neither of us have jobs at the moment (we ARE looking), and neither of us are in school - although I am in training with DONA International to become a doula and I start nursing school in March, and LC will most likely be attending a technical school to get a degree in criminal justice & work in law enforcement OR go into the military for at least four years so he can pay for school - so we have plans for our lives. Let me rephrase that - GOD has plans for our lives that we are trying to figure out & follow. So we're slowly but surely planning our life together.
I can't say truthfully that I haven't had doubts. In fact, this past month, I broke up with LC because I felt that things weren't right, and he wasn't proving to me that he was ready to settle down. It took me awhile and much prayer to make that decision, and I thought it was the right one. It turned out NOT to be. I was absolutely miserable & heartbroken and thought for sure that I had lost my life partner. God led me through that horrible time & showed me that LC is "the one" that He has chosen for me. I'm thankful for that miserable, heartbroken time because it allowed me to lean fully on God and to see the path that has been laid out for me, and really appreciate LC for who he is and who he's going to be.
We've decided to be married in September of 2011 or 2012 - we're not quite sure yet. In the meantime, LC & I are on the wedding warpath! He's visiting for five days in February, when we will go location-scouting, cake-tasting, registry-making & apartment-hunting. We'll also be spending time with my cousin E, his wife S & their boys P&W, who will be visiting and staying in our FAVORITE hotel in Myrtle Beach. I am planning on a trip with my besties to try on wedding dresses, and in April I'll be visiting my three cousins - also know as my bridesmaids - and we'll go bridesmaid dress shopping! Things are finally falling into place for us, and we couldn't be happier!
And little fairies have whispered things in my ear about how I may or may not get an engagement ring for Valentine's Day...stay tuned!!
This post is WAY overdue, and I apologize. I haven't had time to sit down and do a really good post - and I promise this will be REALLY GOOD - in a long time. To make up for my absence I did a complete blog overhaul - isn't it purdy? So sit back with a cup of coffee, some almond milk or a vodka cran if you feel like it, and read on.
LC & I celebrated our one-year anniversary on October 26. To treat ourselves, we decided to visit Charleston, SC - where we met - to spend the weekend. We were there October 23 & 24 and stayed in a really nice hotel. On Friday we ate at the restaraunt where we started talking & really getting to know each other (plus where he first held my hand), and all day Saturday we walked around downtown Charleston - such a beautiful place! We spent a lot of time at the market, where LC bought me a beautiful creamy brown pashmina, and at the waterfront park, where the famous pineapple fountain was such a savior for my feet!! From the waterfront park we trekked down to the battery, where we saw quite possibly the most beautiful sunset ever. It was a lovely trip, and we got to spend so much time together laughing & talking.
Something super important happened when we were in Charleston. It was Friday night after dinner, and we were back in our hotel room watching TV. Somehow we got into a huge fight - I don't even remember what it was about, something stupid - and we were yelling at each other & I was crying and kicked him out of bed, and I was in the middle of telling him just HOW much I hated him when he suddenly blurted out "Marry me."
Just like that, two little words changed my life.
We had, of course, talked about our future, and marriage was almost always in the cards, but this was a complete surprise. I was worried that he had spontaneously asked me to get out of being "in the doghouse," so to speak. Later he assured me that he had been planning on asking me that weekend, so it wasn't a kneejerk reaction. (He also didn't have a ring - and I still don't, which I'm fine with. We're saving for many more important things than an engagement ring. I'd rather have a house than a ring. However, so many people have commented that we're "not really engaged" unless there's a ring, so we're thinking of getting an inexpensive (but still nice) ring at Wal-Mart or Target just to shut up the naysayers.)
At first I was completely speechless. I kept asking him "Really?!" and "Are you serious?!" because I thought he might be joking around. It took a little while to sink in that he was seriously asking me to spend the rest of my life with him. Of course I said yes! Throughout the rest of the night and much of the following day I kept telling him to ask me again - I loved hearing those words. I still do.
So. We've been engaged since October 23rd, 2009. However, we've kind of kept it lowkey. Both our families - not surprisingly, Mother disapproves - and our close friends know, but we haven't officially "annouced" it, had a write-up in the paper or changed our relationship stati to "engaged" on Facebook. We've started some preliminary planning, and we have a wedding website, but we're taking it slow. Neither of us have jobs at the moment (we ARE looking), and neither of us are in school - although I am in training with DONA International to become a doula and I start nursing school in March, and LC will most likely be attending a technical school to get a degree in criminal justice & work in law enforcement OR go into the military for at least four years so he can pay for school - so we have plans for our lives. Let me rephrase that - GOD has plans for our lives that we are trying to figure out & follow. So we're slowly but surely planning our life together.
I can't say truthfully that I haven't had doubts. In fact, this past month, I broke up with LC because I felt that things weren't right, and he wasn't proving to me that he was ready to settle down. It took me awhile and much prayer to make that decision, and I thought it was the right one. It turned out NOT to be. I was absolutely miserable & heartbroken and thought for sure that I had lost my life partner. God led me through that horrible time & showed me that LC is "the one" that He has chosen for me. I'm thankful for that miserable, heartbroken time because it allowed me to lean fully on God and to see the path that has been laid out for me, and really appreciate LC for who he is and who he's going to be.
We've decided to be married in September of 2011 or 2012 - we're not quite sure yet. In the meantime, LC & I are on the wedding warpath! He's visiting for five days in February, when we will go location-scouting, cake-tasting, registry-making & apartment-hunting. We'll also be spending time with my cousin E, his wife S & their boys P&W, who will be visiting and staying in our FAVORITE hotel in Myrtle Beach. I am planning on a trip with my besties to try on wedding dresses, and in April I'll be visiting my three cousins - also know as my bridesmaids - and we'll go bridesmaid dress shopping! Things are finally falling into place for us, and we couldn't be happier!
And little fairies have whispered things in my ear about how I may or may not get an engagement ring for Valentine's Day...stay tuned!!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
it's late...
so I will only post this link & say this:
WEDDING PLANNING!!!!
http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/pwp2/view/MemberPage.aspx?coupleId=3277354531960728
WEDDING PLANNING!!!!
http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/pwp2/view/MemberPage.aspx?coupleId=3277354531960728
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Fall, fall, fall!
I'm so excited that fall is finally here! The weather is still sticky - humid, no cooler than 68 degrees at the lowest - but just knowing the fact that soon, I'll be able to bring out my peacoat makes me so happy!
I'm also excited to announce the births of Aeralind Grace and Bronwyn Hope, on September 11th 2009!!! Congrats to Mommy Melissa and Daddy Derek Aldrich on two beautiful baby girls! I'm hopefully going to visit and spoil babies (and Mommy!) during our fall break in October. Please visit the blogs "Bumblebee Grace" and "Derek and His Women" to find out more about these blessings and their parents!
I'm often amazed at how music affects me so emotionally & so much. There are days when I have the opportunity to sing/hear music and I'm filled with SO much joy that it comes out through tears. Today was one of those wonderful, joy-filled days. On Tuesdays & Thursdays, I have a voice lesson at 10:55AM and concert choir directly following at 11:30. I study with the PHENOMENAL Dr. Ann Benson, who I adore both on a professional and personal level. She reminds me very much of Beverly Sills - whom, consequently, has become a favorite of mine, after reading her memoir "Bubbles". Anyway, Dr. Benson helped me pick out my junior recital rep about two weeks ago. Among that rep is the ridiculous "Ah! Je veux vivre!" from Romeo et Juliette by Charles Gounod. It ranges from a D below middle C to a D above the staff, and it's going to take an inordinant amount of work to make it performance-ready. I discovered the aria when I was 14 and have been slowly but surely working on it ever since. I've always done bits and peices of it, just as scales or what have you, but I've never sung it completely through, with accompaniment.
Until today.
Today, Dr. Benson and I decided to give it a go. She played, I sang.
It was one of the most amazing three and a half minutes ever.
It was difficult to finish, seeing as how I'm still getting over the flu I had last week, and it was MUCH faster than I thought, and I wasn't exactly singing with my voice. However, it. was. amazing. I'm so excited to be able to sing it!
After my voice lesson, I went directly into concert choir. Most of our rep is alright, but there's one peice that we're doing that is my absolute FAVORITE of it's kind. It's the Biebl "Ave Maria" - one of the ONLY "Ave Maria"s that I like. I've been trying to get Dr. Sinclair to let us do it since 2005. She FINALLY decided to do it this year and I couldn't be happier! I'm also priveledged enough to be singing the soprano part in the "trio", with Samantha singing the alto and baby Laney (one of my favorites ever!) singing the tenor. It sounds phenomenal and I feel so blessed to be singing it. Today, when we worked on it in class, I was so joy-filled that I got teary-eyed. Seeing as how I was in the front of the room, singing with the trio, I quickly tried to hide my weepies and continue singing, which I did successfully.
I feel so close to God when we sing that song. I love it.
Well, it's been quite a day. I'm looking forward to sleep that is SO close!
...and enjoying another episode of "18 Kids and Counting". I adore the Duggars! they are such an inspiration to me. I'm trying to model the way I'm training myself on the way that they live their lives - completely and totally for the Lord. Right now, I'm focusing on living with a servant's heart, and always praying for guidance and strength!
That's all for now - love to all!
I'm also excited to announce the births of Aeralind Grace and Bronwyn Hope, on September 11th 2009!!! Congrats to Mommy Melissa and Daddy Derek Aldrich on two beautiful baby girls! I'm hopefully going to visit and spoil babies (and Mommy!) during our fall break in October. Please visit the blogs "Bumblebee Grace" and "Derek and His Women" to find out more about these blessings and their parents!
I'm often amazed at how music affects me so emotionally & so much. There are days when I have the opportunity to sing/hear music and I'm filled with SO much joy that it comes out through tears. Today was one of those wonderful, joy-filled days. On Tuesdays & Thursdays, I have a voice lesson at 10:55AM and concert choir directly following at 11:30. I study with the PHENOMENAL Dr. Ann Benson, who I adore both on a professional and personal level. She reminds me very much of Beverly Sills - whom, consequently, has become a favorite of mine, after reading her memoir "Bubbles". Anyway, Dr. Benson helped me pick out my junior recital rep about two weeks ago. Among that rep is the ridiculous "Ah! Je veux vivre!" from Romeo et Juliette by Charles Gounod. It ranges from a D below middle C to a D above the staff, and it's going to take an inordinant amount of work to make it performance-ready. I discovered the aria when I was 14 and have been slowly but surely working on it ever since. I've always done bits and peices of it, just as scales or what have you, but I've never sung it completely through, with accompaniment.
Until today.
Today, Dr. Benson and I decided to give it a go. She played, I sang.
It was one of the most amazing three and a half minutes ever.
It was difficult to finish, seeing as how I'm still getting over the flu I had last week, and it was MUCH faster than I thought, and I wasn't exactly singing with my voice. However, it. was. amazing. I'm so excited to be able to sing it!
After my voice lesson, I went directly into concert choir. Most of our rep is alright, but there's one peice that we're doing that is my absolute FAVORITE of it's kind. It's the Biebl "Ave Maria" - one of the ONLY "Ave Maria"s that I like. I've been trying to get Dr. Sinclair to let us do it since 2005. She FINALLY decided to do it this year and I couldn't be happier! I'm also priveledged enough to be singing the soprano part in the "trio", with Samantha singing the alto and baby Laney (one of my favorites ever!) singing the tenor. It sounds phenomenal and I feel so blessed to be singing it. Today, when we worked on it in class, I was so joy-filled that I got teary-eyed. Seeing as how I was in the front of the room, singing with the trio, I quickly tried to hide my weepies and continue singing, which I did successfully.
I feel so close to God when we sing that song. I love it.
Well, it's been quite a day. I'm looking forward to sleep that is SO close!
...and enjoying another episode of "18 Kids and Counting". I adore the Duggars! they are such an inspiration to me. I'm trying to model the way I'm training myself on the way that they live their lives - completely and totally for the Lord. Right now, I'm focusing on living with a servant's heart, and always praying for guidance and strength!
That's all for now - love to all!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I have GOT to be better about blogging!!
for the first time in months, I put on a sweater when I took Lucy out this morning. I also have my bedroom window open to enjoy this cool air. I'm excited for fall!! this season always seems so full of possibility to me - I know with most people that usually happens with spring. I guess that's just a way I'm different :-) with fall comes Halloween costumes, crunchy leaves, and sweaters. the church prepares for the start of another liturgical year; Advent isn't too far away. and my excitement is already starting to build for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade - the night before Thanksgiving might as well be the night before Christmas, where the parade is concerned. this is definitely my favorite time of year.
classes have started once again - and once again, I am a music major! I've come to the conclusion that I really can't NOT have music in my life. plus, I have more credits towards a BA in music than anything else, so I'm looking at about three more semesters, maybe four - praise God!! I'm incredibly excited to be studying with Dr. Ann Benson, a world renowned soprano and an AMAZING woman. I've only had a few lessons with her, and already I'm a little in love with her :-) my other classes are interesting, but alrady I'm struggling with making myself actually go. I would much rather be at home working on turning the junk room back into the guest room, or starting to prep for the holidays. I'm such a homebody. but I'm trying really hard to stay disciplined and keep up with my classes. it's difficult, but I'm at least trying.
Lee is no longer at Coastal, or in Myrtle Beach. that's really, really hard to deal with. we're still together, very very much together. we're just doing a long-distance relationship. I think that, in the long run, this will be good for us. we're looking at it as a test and so far, I think we're passing. we talk to each other every day, sometimes as many as ten times a day, just because we want to hear the others' voice. it's very odd to not have him here at all, as opposed to last year when he was here almost constantly. but it makes the times that we're together so much sweeter. he came and visited from last Friday to yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon, and it was almost perfect. it just feels right for him to be here, and for us to be together. I really think I'm gonna marry that boy.
enjoy this first taste of fall, everyone! and pray for my friend Missa - or Melissa Ann, of the blog Bumblebee Grace-, who is 36 weeks pregnant with twin girls - Baby A is feet-first and needs to flip around so Missa can have the natural birthing process that she wants.
classes have started once again - and once again, I am a music major! I've come to the conclusion that I really can't NOT have music in my life. plus, I have more credits towards a BA in music than anything else, so I'm looking at about three more semesters, maybe four - praise God!! I'm incredibly excited to be studying with Dr. Ann Benson, a world renowned soprano and an AMAZING woman. I've only had a few lessons with her, and already I'm a little in love with her :-) my other classes are interesting, but alrady I'm struggling with making myself actually go. I would much rather be at home working on turning the junk room back into the guest room, or starting to prep for the holidays. I'm such a homebody. but I'm trying really hard to stay disciplined and keep up with my classes. it's difficult, but I'm at least trying.
Lee is no longer at Coastal, or in Myrtle Beach. that's really, really hard to deal with. we're still together, very very much together. we're just doing a long-distance relationship. I think that, in the long run, this will be good for us. we're looking at it as a test and so far, I think we're passing. we talk to each other every day, sometimes as many as ten times a day, just because we want to hear the others' voice. it's very odd to not have him here at all, as opposed to last year when he was here almost constantly. but it makes the times that we're together so much sweeter. he came and visited from last Friday to yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon, and it was almost perfect. it just feels right for him to be here, and for us to be together. I really think I'm gonna marry that boy.
enjoy this first taste of fall, everyone! and pray for my friend Missa - or Melissa Ann, of the blog Bumblebee Grace-, who is 36 weeks pregnant with twin girls - Baby A is feet-first and needs to flip around so Missa can have the natural birthing process that she wants.
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