lots to think about.

grades came in today.
I am less than impressed with myself.
in fact, I am incredibly disappointed.


however.
I don't really know what to do. it seems that I'll get through half the school year doing great, keeping up with everything...and then I just lose steam. I get exhausted and bored and I just want to give up.
I honestly - HONESTly - don't want to go to school anymore. I don't want to have to put up with classes or parking or worrying where the money is going to come from. I haven't been happy. I've changed majors fifteen times, I've changed the people I hang out with, I've tried to change myself - but nothing at all makes me happy. I'm sick of school. I'm so, so sick of it. I don't want to do it anymore. at all.

therein lies the problem.
what does one do when one has attended college for however many years, has however many credits (but nowhere near getting a degree in any of the three majors one has tried), and cannot FATHOM having to go back to the same stupid routine in August?

there's the full-time job route. I could find a marginally challenging job or (possibly) get my job back at Picture People and work until...until what? until I get bored with it? until I get married? until my singing career takes off?

I could look for a teaching job somewhere outside the public school system, one that doesn't require a degree. but in this economy, I'm sure those jobs are very few and far-between.

I could become the quintessential housewife (let's say "daughter at home") that I've actually WANTED to be. obviously, I'd be in training, seeing as how this isn't really "my" household - it's my dad's. and I have a LOT to learn - sewing, cooking, cleaning, gardening, keeping a home in general. but I'm sure that Dad (and Nick) would have plenty to say about it. plus I'd probably be expected to contribute some sort of income. and even if I COULD be a "daughter at home", how long would that last? would Dad ask me to get my own place after a certain amount of time?

so what's a girl to do?

pray, obviously. and trust that God will, in time, show me what to do.